So i started out with thinking 'who is me?' What I really want and what defines me. I think the question came from a sudden attack where all the rules, your set motos in life, your principles forbid you to do that one thing you wish to do more than anything. They prevent your heart from being free to control your mind, so much, so much, that you start to question your believes and then the question, is this really who I am and want to be? What defines me? Can I trust the things which define me...
And I looked at the one place which has always guided me, answered all my question, set all my moods- my iPod. And the first time in my life it disappointed me, it didn't allow me to venture into a zone where i wanted to be. My rebel machine, restrained me and I was shocked. I looked at my best friend in disgust and stopped it. It was then i realized my music was too constrained. For the first time in my life i felt what I thought was variety was not really true. And I played each of those varieties to realize they are all just me in different modes or in different situations.
I am standing at a crossroad which allows me to choose between what I want to do and what is safe and right. Its not that I'm saying what I want to do is wrong, just that i'm not sure if it right. It's not a road less travelled, but it's road for which i'll have to shed all my covering of my own set rules and principles. To go away from being me, to being what this sudden sparks wants me to be. For once to let go of all bonds and be naked in the track of life and make myself again. I want to step out and live a different me.
I think I've lost the self respect which I had for my own standing and I wish to use my entire experience in life to build a new me, seeing and knowing what people like me to be. To remove what I don't like about myself, without once caring if it disowns any or all of my life's principles!
I wish the morning light would shed light on the right path... Till then, i just wish to be in my dream... my own created dream.